I met Joe recently to discuss with him and his parents his plans to attend college. His parents described him as “reluctant and not too interested in college.” And, it’s true, Joe didn’t seem very interested in our conversation at the moment, so I asked him why that was. His answer was surprising. He said he was interested in going to college but that he didn’t want to discuss it because he was in the middle of writing a short story and was not happy with his parents for interrupting his writing.
So we started discussing his story and what it was about, why he was writing it, how it was something he did regularly — it was pretty clear that this kid was passionate about writing. Absolutely loved it.
“So, why did you say you wanted to major in engineering here on this form?” I asked.
“Oh,” chimed in his father. “I put that there.” Ah -ha! And there was the crux of the issue.
Joe had a lack of interest in college planning mostly because his parents were interested in putting THEIR college dreams into action through him. They weren’t helping him plan HIS college dream. He wasn’t engaged in the process because it wasn’t his. He didn’t want to be an engineer; his dad did. He wanted to be a writer but didn’t know how to tell his dad that.
The very first step in successful college planning is to get really clear on the dream that college is going to help you fulfill. Do you dream of being a writer? Working on Wall Street? Teaching kids music? Building bridges and buildings? Finding new energy sources? Creating the cars of tomorrow? Having a family and providing for that family?
For Joe, the dream was writing — he didn’t care what kind of writing – scripts, short stories, articles, fiction, non-fiction — it didn’t matter. He thought the best thing in the world would be to get paid to do it. That’s it. But that clarity is all that we needed to begin outlining the type of colleges to consider, what to say to those colleges — everything stemmed from that dream.
For Joe’s parents, seeing how clear Joe was about his dream allowed them to get out of the way — and in doing so, they were able to get really clear on their dream for him. They wanted their son to go to a college that would support him and provide him opportunities and experiences to get closer to his dream of becoming a paid writer.
That moment of clarity was what was needed to re-engage Joe in the college process and get him really excited to get out there and check out colleges and find ones that were great for him.
College is not the end game. It’s a stepping stone to the rest of your life — so what’s YOUR dream?
Your Assignment:
Get clear on your dream! Sit down somewhere quiet, away from distractions and jot down some ideas — this is for you, not anyone else, so don’t get all caught up with “reality”. Imagine your life AFTER college.
* What are you doing?
* Why are you doing it?
* Where are you doing it?
* What kind of lifestyle are you living?
* Where are you living?
* What kind of money are you making?
The more detail you can put into this vision of “future you”, the better. When you’re done, put it away for a day or two. Then come back and read it. Then ask yourself — “Okay, what do I need to do to make this a reality?”
What majors could prepare me for this? What type of colleges would provide me with the opportunities? What classes should I be taking? What activities could I participate in now? Do I or my parents know anyone who is living this?
Do you have a dream but need help outlining the steps needed to achieve it? Is your dream to go to college, but you haven’t quite figured out what it’s going to help you do? Helping students create BIG college dreams and helping parents pay less for them is our specialty! Not everyone needs our services, but everyone benefits from a College Assessment. Schedule yours today!
{ 0 comments }
